Snap the cat

Photographing the cat is a valuable thing.
A pose with a rose or him starting to sing.
Whatever his mood, it’s unlikely you’ll catch him.
For the click of the shutter is bound to dispatch him.

Watched Batman begins on the telly (DVD) today. What a cool film!

Quote: "Does it come in black?"

Does anyone know how I can get my stats to add up on a monthly basis? All I have at the moment is July and August nicely added up themselves but then the September and October list just goes on and on with individual days.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? (Sonnet 18)

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovelyand more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

William Shakespeare

Thought for the day:

If mobile phones had never been invented would there be millions of people all over the world walking around with telephone boxs strapped to their shoulders? Mobiles can be a pain in the neck but just imagine how painful it would be to carry around a full sized telephone box all day.

Same cakes. Some with blackberries and some plain

I made these this morning. Help yourselves.

I think I am very tired as my sense of humour has metaphorically 'got off the proverbial bus home and is standing sobbing in the pouring rain with miles to walk in the wet with no shoes' after our rehearsal tonight. I am getting to that very impatient stage in the last two weeks of rehearsals where I want to scream at the rest of the cast and say "You do realise we are on the stage in two weeks time, don't you!?"

The lovely director is being ultra patient but all I can hear is a litany of "sorrys" and "I don't know this bit yet." There is more stop starting than a knackered old Morris Minor chugging out its last in the lay-by of life.

Just learn the friggin' lines! You have only had a mere sixteen weeks!AAAAAAARGH!

The 'moan zone' is now closed for the evening ladies and gentlemen. Goodnight and thankyou for listening!

I hope the cakes above are some compensation.

Dear Haversack,
I never knew how much my life would be changed by the simple purchase of a reassuringly weighty 1970s retro wooden telephone. I have now put it in pride of place next to my swivelling wooden remote caddy underneath the compact wooden weather station (batteries inc). All these things compliment my newly purchased walnut wooden clock that truely has 100% accuracy. You didn't lie there.

How did you possibly know that I have 760 CDs and 320 DVDs in need of storage and that I have a love of mahogany finishes? Thankfully you second guessed my other favourite choices by offering pine and beech finishes too. Bless you.

Oh Haversack you think of everything. What would I do without you? Next week I am thinking of enlarging my TV screen and treating the family to a talking photo album. My freind Ethel brought one a fortnight ago and pictures of her dead mother now hold wonderful conversation with her as she flicks through the album and it is cheaper than a medium.

Who would have imagined that through the pages of your brochure I can now travel to the outer reaches of the universe with Patrick Moore and should I have difficulty communicating with the aliens when I get there I could always make use of the handy personal interpreter, fluent in 12 languages. If that fails (unlikely as batteries are inc) I will be able to survive with the pocket sized SAS survival guide and emergency kit.

Finally, and I could go on all night (batteries inc,) I can't believe you are knocking a whole ten quid off the Nostalgic stereo record player and radio! Are you mad? I cannot write anymore as I am busy dusting off all my 33s, 45s and 78s in my attic and don't worry if the stereo takes a while to arrive I can always have another blast on the minature bagpipes I recently purchased. They certainly woke up the birds in the 'stick to the window birdfeeder' last weekend! And the neighbours.

Actually, just bill me for two of everything in the extensive catalogue (p&p extra) and I will be the happiest bunny in bunnyland.

Yours, Mrs Abby Normal

Ce

Je me rappellerai ce,
ce feu interne.
Ceci visage reflété de sourire du mien.
Ces bonheur et période de joie.
Que j'embrasserai cet amour de la vie
Ce théâtre, cette réalité .ceci.

Les colombes de l'amour

Les colombes de l'amour arrangent
sur ma barrière et dans leur amour
je cherche mon âme et mon âme
cherche le vol.

Phil Lowe

Tread softly in woods my child;
hear the damp grow and know
the soft pushings of magic;
the fungi towers of the dawn.

Phil Lowe

I'm Monka the monkey
I'm fun and I'm funky
I live with my human friend Phil.
We each love sultanas
And fruit like bananas;
They give both our tummies a thrill.
I'm Monka. I'm happy.
A true cheeky chappy.
I represent all monkeykind.
I'm so photographic
I stop all the traffic
As I swing in the trees in my mind.

Written by Monka.

My male heroes.

Alvin Hall for his simple and motivating approach to personal finance

Rick Stein for his enthusiasm and passion for fish and food production.

David Bowie for his avant-garde approach to musical interpretation.

Jamie Cullum for his similar approach to modern jazz and the interpretation of jazz classics.

Woody Allen for his dogged perseverance against the odds and his gift for comedy.

Eddie Izzard for his bravery as an individual and for his off beat view of the world.

Bill Bailey for being so funny and musically talented.

Bill Bryson for his wit and intelligence.

Tenzin Dyatso the 14th Dalai Lama for his wisdom, humour and compassion.

Philip Pullman for his magic and mystery and vision of alternative worlds.

Gordon Smith the Scottish medium for his incredible second sight and love.

David Attenborough for his knowledge of the animal kingdom and how he shows us his vision through the medium of film and television.

There used to be and probably still is a cartoon series called ”happiness is”. Well I would like to redefine this in the pure form of words.

Tonight ‘Happiness is’ dancing around to some old Leo Sayer album from one’s teenage years half naked and dressed in only a blue dressing gown with no one to criticize and just have fun with the return of the memories and feel the musical magic of the moment. Dance the night away. You’ve guessed it. It is Leo Sayer. Bit obvious as I have already given it away and I have probably had too much red wine tonight. God bless the 70’s. I had hair then you know.

Phil xxxx

Seven things I want to do:

1.Go to Japan one day
2.Get fitter
3.Meet someone special
4.Live in France
5.Be happy
6.Make others happy
7.Feel I've lived a worthwhile life.

Seven things I can do:
1.Communicate well
2. Make people laugh
3. Act well.
4.Cook nice food
5.Speak two other languages in 'get by' fashion
6.Offer kindness to those in need
7.Post letters that never get there

Seven things I can't do:

1.Sing
2.Look in the mirror and be able to see George Clooney or Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp...
3.Be indescreet to or about friends.
4.Walk away from a cat without attempting to stroke it.
5.Play football or any other sports for that matter
6.Pretend to like football
7.Drink several pints and remain coherent (I like a drink but know my limits)

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1.Cuteness in wacky way
2.Sharing lots of laughter
3.Cute bottoms
4.Big eyes and natural full lips
5.Sexy accents (did I mention French or Scottish accents at all?)
6.Naturalness
7.The ability to be very cuddly and loving

Seven things I say most: (why did you ask that? I sound dorky now)
1.Righty oh.
2.Yers! (when something goes particularly right.)
3.Excellent!
4.Doh! (when I make a dumb mistake.)
5.Where did the weekend go? (most weekends)
6.Mon dieu!
7. No lo problemo.

Seven celebrity crushes:

1.Audrey Tautou (soooo adorable)
2.Joanna Whalley Kilmer. (sooo sexy and those eyes and mouth and voice and...)
3.Kate Melua (sooo sexy and those eyes and mouth and voice and...)
4.Nora Jones
5.Kate Bush (ok I am an old hippy)
6.Bjork (ok I am a new wacky)
7.Nigella Lawson the cook. (she bites I am led to believe...grrrr Hello Nigella!)

Phil xx

Do something special today

Have you ever done something that was unexpected and made a friend or stranger feel great and you feel great for doing it?

When I was on holiday recently in France I purchased a bunch of roses and gave them to a pretty French woman in the street as a poetic gesture of my love for things French, including the beautiful women. Once I had stuttered out my explanation in my limited French her face lit up and I got two kisses and a great memory. Phil xxx

I have just sat for five hours in the Broadway cinema watching Polanski's Oliver Twist and the French fantasy film of a gentleman thief 'Arsene Lupin' back to back. Time for bed said Zebedee.

This one will really bug you because the merest mention will have you singing away all day and night and in your dreams and all the following day as well.

"What is it I hear you cry?!"

Today I want to know which song/s you cannot get out of your head and which keep popping up throughout the day and reappear just as you are about to go to sleep.

One of my work colleagues told me this morning that she has 'I'll do anything for you' from Oliver going around in her head this morning and it has been there the last couple of days. She has no idea where it has come from. Another finds all the Anastasia songs do it for her.

Moi? Today I have 'go wild in the country' buzzing in my early morning brain simply because I thought I might go up to Derbyshire for a walk in the country on Saturday.

So what songs do it for you?

La la la la la la, lalala, oooh I can't get you outta ma head.

Have you ever brought anything and never used it?

A good example would be computer software to does a specific task or something that professes to be able to make your life so much easier by doing xy and z and cook your dinner while doing it!

A late night poem in praise of women, love, life, lust and the dance of life. I was imagining two people dancing together in a close embrace like in a tango.

Votre implacable élégance.

Mon amor – mon amor - your soft contours attract
And in the dark separated under belly of existence
I fall for your tearful spell. I harken to the murmurs,
The pleading confirmations; the need to be fulfilled.
The deep aching need to live and to be loved.

How implacable is your elegance
How taut is your back, how swan long the neck.
How echoing the sweetest sighs.
The softest sweetest poetic sighs.

Ici ça va. Ici ça va. Je suis vivant. Ici c’est chaud.

Behind your knees the lightest of kisses lie
Placed as if by a gentle butterfly lighting on air.
Along your lissome legs the temperate caresses fly
And firmer grows ‘til firmness shows and I….

How implacable is your elegance
How strong is my embrace
How urgent and yet so fragile is your face
Hold me now in our embrace and
Together we shall dance, dance,
Together we shall forever dance.

Par: Phil Lowe

Never mix a big dressing gown sleeve with a pan of boiling hot butter on the stove. I did and spent the morning in A&E in the burns unit. I was making some cakes early on at home for my work buddies to eat in a team meeting and managed to catch my voluminous sleeve on the pan handle and the whole lot went down my leg. Thankfully most of it was soaked up by the fabric of the dressing gown but it still stings like fcuk. Not that a fashion brand stings but you get my drift.

Lots of sympathy my way please.

Love Phil xx

"We need to reflect again and again on the special opportunity we now have. If we develop a deep appreciation for the preciousness of this life we will definately make a determination to use it wisely. Then we will feel as if our life has become truely meaningful." Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

I went on a long bike ride today and the freedom got me thinking about what would be an an ideal lifestyle for me and I hope for others.

An ideal lifestyle

:D

To be able to enjoy good times, good friends, good food, good company and good humour.

To be able to be relaxed and stress free and to be able to relax others.

To live a comfortable existence that causes no harm to others: human, animal or spirit.

To be constantly creative and not worry about having to earn an income from that creativity.

To be loving towards all creatures and to be much loved in return.

To have a companion whom one could trust implicitly and each would allow the other breathing space to be alone for a while.

To have no money worries and be secure for the future.

To have the wisdom to treasure all that is good even in the smallest of moments.

To have the wisdom to learn from mistakes.

Phil Lowe

Inspired after seeing Wim Wenders film 'Wings of Desire' again.

Als ein kind, ein kind war.

A touch upon my shoulder
and all thoughts become thy desire,
all thoughts become thy desire.

A touch at my beating heart
and I am all on fire,
and you begat that fire.

A touch at my soul
and all the motion in the world
spins like no-time, and spins into eternity.

A touch at my wings
und ich bin wie ein engel
und ich wie ein engel fliege.

A touch at my beginnings
und als ein kind, ein kind war,
and the child was like a child.

Phil Lowe

To a Cat

Mirrors are not more silent
nor the creeping dawn more secretive;
in the moonlight, you are that panther
we catch sight of from afar.
By the inexplicable workings of a divine law,
we look for you in vain;
More remote, even, than the Ganges or the setting sun,
yours is the solitude, yours the secret.
Your haunch allows the lingering
caress of my hand. You have accepted,
since that long forgotten past,
the love of the distrustful hand.
You belong to another time. You are lord
of a place bounded like a dream.

Jorge Luis Borges

Pictures of cats I have known www.flickr.com/photos/frenchyphil/sets/403173/

For other Monka pix go to www.flickr.com/photos/frenchyphil/sets/216583/

Someone once told me that the early David Bowie made up his lyrics by cutting up bits of magazines and creating a world of his own to sing about.

So, in a fun homage to Bowie I will give it a go. Singalong now in the style of Bowie.

Sticks in my craw.

We can't really believe it
The way things have changed.
We see them now, oh now, in the raw
And it sticks, yeah it sticks, in my craw.

(up tempo)

Oh yeah, sticks in my craw
Ooooh yeah, it sticks in my craw!
Show me baby, my pretty baby,
Show me baby, baby, the door!

(build again)

Once then, we would have known
How worlds, once should have grown
And we should have seen my daaaaarlin'
What a kind man would have been my daaaaarlin!

(tempo change pseudo sad)

Oh when a blind man sighs
Without, the blind man's eyes
And its a - very big- big suprise
That he holds (keep on the note now) such a bold disguise

(another tempo change)

This guy, this guy
This guy, this guy,
This guy stiiiiicks in my craw
And he's ooooopenly next door
On the the floor, the floor (echo sound effect).

Sticks in the craw (filtered echo receding)