To add to my comments earlier today: two observations going from the wierd to the sublime came to me today whilst shopping.

In Waterstones bookshop I spied a greetings card published by The Art Group with the image of George Best as a younger healthier man in his footballing prime saying retrospectively, "I spent all my money on birds, booze and the rest I just squandered."

Then as I was browsing the booze (sic)section in the Tesco Supermarket I saw a notice to general populace which said amusingly: "If you are lucky enough to look under under 21 please do not be offended if we ask you for proof of age when buying age restricted products." Hmmm.

Hello my little festive bloggers, excuse the hyper feel of this blog but I have just spent the afternoon in the centre of Nottingham fighting the crowds desperate to spend spend spend in the main shopping centres or 'mauls' as our American cousins call them. Oh got it wrong again they are 'malls' aren't they? Let's look at the linguistics and similarities on sounds here. Mall or Mal, doesn't that infere illness or something wrong ie; malaise or malcontent? How predictive can you get? None of the people I saw milling in the mall (seasonal note to self:like the poetics of that)looked anything but happy, particularly the few whiney snot-nosed kids grizzling in misery because the parents decided not to re-mortgage the house on their children's expensive tv/adverse driven whims. No, folks, adverse is what I meant to put - play on the word - adverts.

Don't get me wrong, Christmas is 4 weeks away and I ain't no Scrooge but if this is what it is like at this time countrywide then what will it be like nearer to the blessed date of the birth of the son of God? 'That's Christmas Day for all of those who are unsure.'

Looking into my crystal ball (only fourteen pounds forty-nine from Woolworths in the pre-chrimbo sale - two balls for the price of one, should you wish) I can see the New Year headlines now 'Retailers complain of slump in sales.." How is this possible? Well, consider all that wandering around the shopping centres and the copious stressed out decision making re; a pressie for the kids, for Auntie Jean ect: and consider what gets bought; four packets of mince pies, a bottle of advocat and coffees for two and a peach smoothie or Ecoke for the small one in the crowded Cafe Relax.

Ho, ho, ho! Santa had the right idea. Keep on laughing!

Me? I bought a lovely piece of brisket which is filling the house with Dickensian odours of boiled beef and mustard with roast potatoes. Bob Cratchit would be envious. So, as his fictional sweet natured boy child, Tiny Tim, would say "God bless us everyone and pass the horse radish sauce! (one pound twenty five from Tescos 'own brand')"