If you wish to secure peace for yourself, start by championing it for others.

They talk talk through Sam
They walk talk to the medium.
Pulling through the void.
They pass the messages on;
The visibly invisible;
The credibly incredible;
The impact of the pact;
The connections connnect;
The vibrations select vibrato.
They communicate miraculously.
The living and the dead to us.

(After seeing Derek Acorah, the medium.)

It weighed 120 pounds
The 'tiger' of the river;
The holy river:
In tune with the world
It slipped the noose
And pulled effortlessly
Toward the setting sun
Laughing bubbles and
Flicked a hunted tail.
Bad karma to talk while
Swimming away he thought.
The greatest fighting
Fish in the world
Turned and turned
Down and down.
The shining roof of
The river shimmering above.

Phil Lowe

I will be away to Paris soon so look forward to posting some poems of mine from The City Of Light. Phil

I now have the whole bed to myself but still have the option to hang off the edge sometimes if I chose to.

I can cry at sad Katy Melua songs and not be seen as a big wuss.

The bathroom is always assessable in times of need without me knocking frantically at the door with legs crossed bouncing crazily

Big spiders are now insect friends, not a reason the have a heart attack as the other person leaps dramatically from the armchair shrieking “spiiiiider!”

Glasses are now drinking vessels not temporary humane rescue spider homes.

Wet tights drying no longer obscure my vision when bathing or moving from room to room.

Farting at home can no longer be blamed on the cat so it becomes ok to do guilt free.

I have found new meaning the term ‘DIY’ which is actually pleasurable, doesn’t require a drill or an interminable visit to B&Q, and on average takes about five minutes.

Cat hairs no longer festoon my clothes and a fortune has been saved in rolls of sellotape used to remove them.

Leo Sayer, Kate Bush and Bowie albums are now for occasional nostalgic listening to; not a reason for dismissal as 70s crap.

Dancing naked slightly drunk in the front room (with curtains closed) feels great. Forgetting nakedness and nipping into kitchen for another glass is slightly dangerous, however. Although I have seen my elderly neighbour Betty smiling a lot recently so perhaps there is a benefit after all.

Shopping for domestic goods and food being a singleton means I am less likely to buy enough food for a small country, stuff it all in the cupboards and fridge spaces and threw half of it away two weeks later.

Sunday afternoon

Kate Bush booming in the background
Ariel flapps in the hemisphere
connecting the invisible
and the visible.
See the the birds on the wire:
hear their stretched laughter
vibrating the lines.
Pause and ply their erotic
desire and become Alice like
through the keyhole and jump
into the mirror of illusion.

1. How do you like to be kissed?
Softly and gently then building up the passion
2. If you could visit your 18 year old self what advice would you give them?Have fun and get a pension sorted laddo.
3. What was the best present that you ever received?
A nice comment telling me I was handsome. Did my confidence a power of good.
4. What are you most afraid of?Heights and jelly babies. I am lying about one of them
5. What do you most desire?Peace for all and a piece of nice cake.
6. Would you spend the night alone in a haunted room?Do you mean it isn't haunted?
7. Have you ever nearly died?I nearly drowned in swimming pool as a young boy.
8. Would you be afraid to swim at night time?Only if there was no water and it was dark.
9. Do you do the right thing even when you hurt yourself?
I have a good collection of bandages and plasters.
10. Are you in love?Not at the moment but I am a hopeless romantic and ever optimistic.
11. Is sex overrated?Sex? Now I remember that word. Must look it up as I have forgotten what it means.On reflection and some solitary study it occasionally comes back to when I am on my own.Overrated nah but two is always better than one I find.
12. Can you keep secrets?Only when I worked for MI5. lol
13. Did you choose the life you lead?It chose me and we have done a bit of wheeling and dealing along the way. I think it will probably win in the end.

Walking slowly through the heat to conserve energy I contrived a short poem for fun.

It is so hot
Is it not?
Mein Gott
I cannot trot
It is a lot hot.

Phil

To escape the footy (est ce-que possible?)and the stygian gloom if we lost (est ce-que possible?) I took a day out to the local NEMA airport. Better than train spotting, dear reader. I was delighted to get a very cheap fare of a whole quid on the skylink bus and spent a few hours pretending that I was going on my a holiday and was thrilled to discover that Ryanair do lots of flights from the East Mids to France.
See www.ryanair.com.

After a coffee I went for a walk firstly to see if I could see any planes landing and saw a charter flight land and cruise on the tarmac and I also saw a red admiral butterfly land on some nettles. The sun shone throughout the afternoon. I then took myself of to a little village called Diseworth (about a mile from the airport and close to Donnington). It was a sweet little village with no litter and was pretty much deserted by pedestrians and traffic, assumedly because of the footy. I spent about an hour wandering around and taking photographs. Thirsty, I stopped at The Plough pub for a pint and packet of crisps. It was like being on holiday. The sun was great and I had a good look around the village church.

About five I made my way back to the airport and took the return bus back into Nottingham. Apart from the driver there was just me and another bloke on the bus. Back in the city I made my way to the Broadway cinema where I went to see a documentary called 'Wal-mart - the high cost of low price'. I will certainly think twice about shopping at my local ASDA after learning about this companies exploitative methods of operating in particular their shameful record of abusing foreign workers in the Honduras and China amongst others. Official site. http://www.walmartmovie.com/

Later on I came home, had some healthy chips with curry sauce and stayed up late cruising the internet and half watching a dreadful film showing the a very young Russell Crowe and Salma Hayek. It was called Breakup and scored a pathetic one star in the tv mag review section. Went to bed to the sound of smashing glass in the pub car park next door. Did England lose then? Hey on Friday night a bloke was encouraging his drunken 'friend' to head butt our wooden gate! what is wrong with these people? Slept well and the sun is shining again today. Happy Sunday everyone.

I have discovered today that sometimes ones concerns are not what one thinks they are but a deeper underlying issue. Interesting.

Quote from writer Elmore Leonard on his job as a writer.

"I sometimes look at my watch and think 'Great, I've got three more hours at work!'"

This was said postively about how much he enjoys his work. How many of can us can say that?

Phil

I love nature!

:D

Am I the only bloke who doesn't follow football? I'm not anti- football, it just doesn't appeal to me personally.

Why do the "Engalund" beered up supporters from the local housing estates have to come to the pub next door to me and treat it like the terraces ie smashing glasses and chant their big mouths off until after midnight?

Why am I sitting here typing this at one oclock Sunday morning with earplugs in my still suffering and assulted ears?

Why will I find my garden wall decorated with half full beer and lager cans and the street splashed with sick in the morning?

Why does it not fill my heart with joy to flick through the tv magazine and see there is more yet to come?

Well, that's my grumpy old man moan out of the way. "Come on you Enga-lund!"

Oh and it's England, by the way. The civilised place surrounded with water. Moan over. All the best England football team.

I am looking to practice my basic French language skills with anybody willing to help me learn. Is there anybody in blogland that is a francophile like me that wants to practise and share a love of things French?

Conversely if you are French and want to improve your English language skills then equally happy to give it a go.

Phil

Contact me through this blog initially please.

Ok bloggers, i have a serious need to save some money after dipping rather deeply into my overdraft facility. I have discovered Wilkos to be source of money saving opportunities from my initial experience of buying black rubbish bags from them (39p for ten!) saving a whole £1 on a similar product in my local Co-Op store and the laughably high price of £2.69 at John Lewis, which I would never pay!

Any money saving tips or advice on where to get good deals on everyday food purchases etc would be apprieciated.

Phil (the skint).

check this out. I was asked to submit some answers on a Crossroads fan site about my time working on the soap in 2001-2002.

www.crossroads2001.co.uk/interviewnathan.htm

Oh how that song used to make me bawl. I was about twenty, still living at home and had fallen for some German girl called UTA who I had met on holiday. It wasn't to be and every time I heard that song I used to break into floods of uncontrolable tears. So why am I mentioning it now? Dunno really, just feeling a bit fed up with life as things are getting me down workwise and part of me wants to suddenly bugger off to La Belle france where I can sit with a beer in the sunshine, watch the pretty girls go by and generally relax with some nice food and a care free mind.Money prevails.

I haven't felt up to blogging recently as life just seems to have been very busy and complex and coming into work early this morning i thought I would start again. send me something funny folks and cher me up please.

"Time goes so quickly Kostya, I don't know where it has all gone" said Dolly in Anna Karenina. the same could be said for the last three weeks.

The production went very well and was a commercial, artistic and critical success and by the end of the week I was feeling knackered but happy and wasn't even checking my script in the day.

The following week our theatre group hosted 30 and a half German visitors from Karlsruhe and they put on two plays in German 'Blieb doch zum freuhstuck' and 'blaue bahnhof'. Their audiences were average houses purely because the English are lazy in languages and presumably because they performed in German they thought they wouldn't understand. Shame as the performances were very high standard and understandable even for those with very limited German language skills like me. The cast were more than happy to fill in any gaps afterwards as most spoke good English.

I was out partying most nights with them and by the end of the second week was completely knackered and sad to see them leave for their 14 hour drive back to Karlsruhe. Can't wait for 2008 when it is our turn to visit them and renew old and new friendships.

This week I have been back to work and won a digital camera (not seen it yet) simply for dressing like an idiot for St Georges day. If it is better than the one I have got I will keep it otherwise eBay here I come.

I have officially finished work for 15 days!

After the thunderstorm that is currently happening I am going to theatre to do another dress rehearsal and cement all the work we have been putting into the rehearsals over the last three months.

Phil xxx

Two more dress rehearsals of Anna Karenina to go and we are on from Monday 3rd April for a week! All looking good so far. It should be a very exciting production to be involved in and to watch.

I am at the stage where I am very confident with my lines and complex character depiction and yet still find myself chuntering to myself repeating bits of the lines and reactions in all manner of odd places; my bathroom; as I lock my door coming to work; in the supermarket; under my breath on the bus to work and even whilst blogging!

I should have some pictures from the actual production in a couple of weeks as the official photographs get taken tomorrow night during the second to last dress rehearsal. We have another stab at it Sunday afternoon on the 'final dress' and then attempt to rest up until the first night. No doubt I will be going through all the lines and re-playing the scenes in my head on Monday daytime too. Only 74 pages to remember - easy peasey.

Next season (September 2006 to July 2007) there are some good plays to audition for and I have thoughts about playing Alan Bennett in The Lady In the Van. I will need a sandy coloured wig but can do the voice very well. "As I said to Miss Shepard...."

Well comrades (sorry, all this Russian stuff has gone to my head) wish me luck for next week and I will let you know how it is all going through some regular blogs.

Phil

Hi there all my blogging friends. Sorry for the gap in blogging but life has been very busy of late. Work, Art and stuff.

So, what has been happening in my 'oh so busy' life?

For the last three months I have been out most nights reheasing Anna Karenina in which I am playing Kostya Levin (the male lead) and have had to learn approx 60 pages worth of dialogue and we go live from 3rd to 8th of April! Yahooo! can't wait to perform in front of a live audience and thrill them with our production. It has been a good experie with a super cast of established and new actors here in Nottingham.

I was a bit concerned last week when I managed to put my hip out and had three days off work and a visit to an oestopath. Although I have a few aches and minor discomfort I think I shall be fine.

I confess a small obsession with eBay and have been flogging some of my unwanted dvds and such to pay for some of the nostalgic items I have been tempted to purchase.

Work has been busy too and I am enjoying a coaching role which I recently put myself forward for. I like working with people and seing the direct results of me listening and passing on my own experiences.

The week after the play, our theatre group (The Lace Market Theatre) are hosting a visit of thirty German actors from Karlsruhe. This is a twinning agreement we have where we go over to Germany every two years and perform there and they come over to us to perform two plays here over a period of a week. I have been helping to organise this and am looking forward to seeing them.

I am off work for the whole fortnight leading into Easter and this will give me a good break and more opportunities to read bloggs and to submit my own.

Here is a picture of me in my Levin gear and a drawing I did for fun of the set showing AK, Death and Levin. The three naughty girls are Alison as AK, Antonia as Dolly and Amanda as Kitty.

Two glasses of white wine in La Tasca.... lovely meal at Bistro Pierre with work mate/ fun person Clair and Flickr buddies/ good friends Rick and Jeanette. So far so good. At least three glasses of wine with meal.Nice cards and pressents. Good food and company. Meal finishes - pay bill - very happy. Clair suggests 'night not over yet' and we all hit the town... go across to St James Street pub where invited to try my first zambooca and another glass of wine. Rick and Jeanette leave.. Time has flown as it is nearly kicking out time (11.0'clock) so we search for another bar and have a quick drink in one by the market place and then leave for a taxi back to her place. I forgot my bag and ran back in a wavy line to the pub, grab bag and run back to her. Fall over big time on the pavement. Clair nearly wets herself laughing. Pick myself up and go to taxi and back to my friend's house. I meet her brother and her cat TJ and have a few more drinks. Over time her brother is suprised to hear Clair and I speaking fluent German(well in our befuddled brains it sounds so) and suddenly it is four in the morning. Clair goes to bed and I doss down on the sofa. TJ sniffs my incumbant hand at about seven o'clock. Clair's 10 year old daughter is up and about and getting herself ready for school as well as making me a much needed cup of tea. At 9 o'clock Clair is now late for work and we get a taxi into town. She goes into work with a massive hangover and I crawl home on the bus and sleep in my own bed until four that afternoon. I have discovered that I smashed my glasses case when I fell and chipped a lump out of my camera and my knee. Good time was had by all. I am so glad I took the day off work to recover!

The big countdown to my 50th birthday begins today. It is my birthday on Monday 27th February. So I want you all to raise a glass at 8pm and wish me a Happy Birthday!

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

Love Phil xxx

:D

I have been chosen by the company I work for to go to London next week to be photographed and to have my mug in the local press and no doubt the back of any buses that course through Nottingham. This is for a recruitment drive and the company wanted 'real people' to be the faces of the company as opposed to models.

Ce soir l'air est plein du bruit discordant et ce soir la voix coulissante séduit dans le passage d'enfantin à laconique. Est-ce que c'est est l'extrémité, lui le commencement?

Who would call their dog Cromarty and why? the British of course and 'why not?' Even odder sounding names have a strange sense of comfort to the Brits. Being an island race as we are we love to be comforted by thr reassuring tones of the Shipping Forecast or as the poet Sean street called it 'the cold poetry of information'.

So, sit back, relax with your evening cocoa and batten down the hatches. Switch your mental radio on and enjoy the soothing sounds of:

Viking, North Utsire, South Utsire, fisher, dogger, german Bight, westerly or south westerly three or four, increasing five in north later. Rain later. Good becoming moderate, occasionally poor. Faroes, fair isle, Cromarty, Forties, forth. Northerly backing westerly three or four, increasing six later. Showers. Good.

I am really enjoying working with the Lace Market Theatre on their production of Anna Karenina which is showing in April. The part of Levin is a wonderfully stretching and complex part as he goes through so many mood swings in the play and is a really well rounded difident character. I get turned down by the lovely sweet Kitty, a much younger woman I attempt to propose to; then in deep rejection go and sulk for months: the peasants who work my land are a pain in the bum: the lazy bailif even worse. My counterpart in the play (Anna Karenina) goes completely against my character's moral code by befriending the handsome and utterly charming Count Vronsky - alright she becomes his red hot lover and she is married with a child! On top of this people keep getting run over by steam trains, a race horse called Frou Frou falls over on stage and has to be shot (no real race horses are hurt in the acting )and I have over 60 pages of lines to learn, have to stick my head in a bucket of freezing cold water and then have to sing in Russian! However, I get to marry Kitty in the end, not without a few domestics en route as well as go through a religious transformation. All in an evenings work for no pay and hopefully a lot of fun and wild applause.

Have a look at this site it is very funny. I have been reading their book whilst enjoying a nice cup of tea and a sit down :

www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/

What are your favourite biscuits?

My home computer is still broken and is having Windows XP installed and the nice guy fixing it mentioned something about installing one of his old hard drives (I'm lost already). I just want the darn thing to work and to be able to blog, upload photos for flickr and do some writing and emailing, and not crash . However, having spent all last week without the beast in the house I was suprised how much I got done without the opportunity to play with it of an evening. ie: oooh, I'll just look if I've got any emails, oooh, I'll just see what's on eBay, oooh, I'll just see if anyone has commented on my photos or and whether any friends across the world sent me any nice emails. I think the words... "Get a life Phil" come into mind here.

In my defence I am now out most nights now rehearsing for Anna Karenina and I spent a lovely weekend cooking and chilling sans computer.

Phil

Is that… sometimes I can go without watching television for a whole day and even three days at an extreme push. I am also a complete non follower of Soaps and don’t give a toss what the empty headed and somewhat vacuous ‘Celebrities’ bleat and bitch about in the popular magazines. Victoria who? Also I can truthfully claim to have never ever watched one episode of Big Smother – sorry, Brother: wishful thinking creeping in there.

Am I alone?